Tag: Self-Care

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Spiritualized and Realized: My Weekend at Desert Daze Music Festival

Stardust And Stoned at Desert Daze

The weekend of October 12-15, Stardust & Stoned headed to the desert for the annual Desert Daze music festival at the Institute of Mentalphysics in Joshua Tree. And as the Eagles of Death Metal pointed out on Sunday, not many of us knew what “Mentalphysics” was, but we were sure ready to experience it.

As vendors working together with the help of our good friend Heidi, Rachel of Stoned by Operahippy and I unloaded our merchandise with an open mind and heart — this weekend would be a huge experiment as first time vendors, and we were just happy to be along for the ride.

I was pulling double duty this year as a vendor and press, covering the festival for mxdwn.com and boy was I in for a wakeup call. I didn’t spend much time at the vending tent, as from 2pm on I was back and forth catching all the bands. As you can imagine, by the time Sunday had rolled around I was exhausted. Not only was I assisting with setting up the vending booth each morning, I was writing my daily recaps for mxdwn and then heading out in the heat again to catch another full day of bands.

And while there were definitely some spiritual, high vibe experiences catching the music with bands like Holy Wave, L.A. Witch, Iggy Pop, Twin Peaks, Hope Sandoval and the Warm Inventions, Spiritualized and more, by the time the final day rolled around, the heat during the day and freezing night temps were making me feel like I was constantly on the verge of getting sick. I was so worn out from the weekend, by the time I caught my final set of the festival, a dreamy, romantic performance from Cigarettes After Sex, the combination of the lyrics, music, couples holding each other, and just the fact that it was over had me in tears.

I’m proud of myself and my team of amazing women for all we accomplished in the weekend, but it was also a huge wakeup call for me. I spread myself way too thin, and vowed to not do that again, and to also look at the other areas in my life in which I spread myself too thin on a regular basis.

When I got home, I finished up my last article, had some really great food and got into the bath, thanking my tired legs and feet for all they did for me this weekend.

What are some ways you are spreading yourself too thin? Do you maybe say yes to things you know you’ll regret later, or that may be too much? Do you try to please everyone?

This week, I challenge you to make sure the person you’re pleasing if yourself. Look into the future scenario of all the tasks you want to accept; how will it play out? If it seems like too much, it probably is.

Stardust And Stoned at Desert Daze

Stardust And Stoned at Desert Daze

Cigarettes After Sex at Desert Daze

You can check out my daily recaps of Desert Daze 2017 for mxdwn here:

Desert Daze 2017 Festival Day One Review Featuring Courtney Barnett, Kurt Vile, Ariel Pink and More

Desert Daze 2017 Festival Day Two Review Featuring Iggy Pop, Sleep, John Cale and More

Desert Daze 2017 Festival Day Three Featuring Spiritualized, Hope Sandoval and the Warm Inventions, Cigarettes After Sex and More

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Living in the Self-Care Moment

Self Love Rose

What comes to mind when you think of “Self-Care?” Do images of yogis, spa days, meditating and face masks come to mind? Or maybe it’s something you rolled your eyes at in the past but are starting to wonder why your self-love-practicing friends are so much happier than you… or maybe you’re still rolling your eyes. It’s okay.

Lately, I have struggled to feel like I’m really “on my self-care game.” I see how all my friends are taking care of themselves by practicing yoga, reading spiritual growth books, attending full moon circles, and just taking the night off. I’ve wondered how they have the time and money for all this… I mean, those weekly self-care massages add up!

But instead of focusing on what others are doing, what I’m NOT doing and what self-care should look like, I chose to re-define or customize what self-care means to me. And THAT way, I’m essentially living in self-care moments throughout the day.

For example, this past week I was in Santa Monica cat sitting. The change of scenery can feel very refreshing; i’d walk to Bristol Farms every day and get ahi poke from the poke bar and a special fizzy drink. I’d wear one of my favorite dresses when I had no where to be and treat myself to some live music — Beach House and Fleet Foxes at the Hollywood Bowl were just incredible. And mentally, I’d bring my attention to my thoughts. What was present and why? How was I choosing to focus my thoughts and was it helpful?

Despite being on my own for the majority of the time while I was there, I didn’t really feel lonely. I channeled my focus forward and thought about everything that was going right in my life. My music journalism is getting better and going further, opportunities for work seem to be coming up and I feel supported by the universe, and in just a couple weeks I’m going to be a vendor at Desert Daze!

And that’s not to say that I don’t have my doubts. I can work myself into a tailspin over money, arguments and negative thoughts. Ups and downs are part of life — it’s being conscious of what’s actually going on in your head that matters.

So, the next time you find yourself comparing yourself to others, beating yourself up about not making enough time for self-care, know that it’s different for everyone, and you just have to find and follow what it is that makes you feel your best. Are your thoughts propelling you to move forward? Or are they holding you back? What’s the story you’re telling yourself and what’s the truth?

What’s the future you want to create for yourself, and how will you get there? Do what you gotta do to make it happen because when you make time to stop a check in with yourself, take that walk in the middle of your busy day, or dress up just for yourself you get into the magick zone, and that shit is powerful.

 

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Falling off the Self-Care Wagon

Falling off the self care wagon

Sometimes I drink, smoke, eat unhealthily, and move infrequently. I don’t change out of my pj’s for the day, don’t brush my teeth in the morning, and don’t eat until 3pm, running on just my bulletproof coffee from the morning. I dive straight into work, make myself anxious, drive when I shouldn’t, and make mistakes. I lose clients, I tell myself it’s all my fault, and I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. I can’t seem to tell that annoying voice inside of my head to shut the fuck up!

You’re probably familiar with the voice – the one that tells you you’re no good, you’ve fucked up again, you’re a failure, and a total loser. You’ll never have the job, house, or relationship you want. You’ll never have enough money, and you might as well settle for what you deserve, which is nothing. Life is unfair, hard, and full of challenges.

And while I have had many days like these, where I feel little a heaping pile of shit. I have just as many incredible days that remind me of my purpose. Those little things can be as small as listening to a new song from my favorite band, Grizzly Bear, or getting my ass out of bed and walking straight to the beach from my apartment, coffee and self-improvement audiobook in hand (currently listening to “You’re a Badass” by Jen Sincero), or shopping at my favorite store, Trader Joe’s. And then, I start to realize, oh wait this isn’t bad. I’m okay, I’m doing my best, I did something for “me” today, even if all I did was turn on my himalayan salt lamp or essential oil diffuser.

Suddenly, I catch a glimpse of compassion for the girl who drank too much last night and made a fool of herself, or the girl who didn’t do shit yesterday. I’m doing my best, and the trajectory is still going upward.

When I think of where I was just 5 years ago, I was stuck in a full-time job, killing time every day. I felt my soul being crushed, and on top of that I fell ill with Lyme disease. I was so depressed each day, and getting out of bed was a daily struggle. I drank almost every night to “wind down” and couldn’t connect in my relationships.

Am I saying life is perfect now? Fuck no. But I’m making better choices each day, even on days I “fuck up.” Growth is a choice we make each day to step out and tune in. It’s not for the weak because it means putting yourself out there to face possible rejection. But the alternative is just small and soul crushing. When you’re comfortable, you’re not growing.

So if you struggle like me and fall off the wagon, the best thing you can do is just forgive yourself, and have so much compassion for the real you, because she kind of rocks.