Let’s face it, 2020 has been a rough year for everyone. For me, the roughness began earlier in the year when my father ended up in the ER in late January. Being an only child, I carried most of the responsibility to step up and be there for my dad throughout his recovery. He’s currently home and making progress.
Around the same time, Covid-19 dropped in on everyone, and daily life as I knew it came to a halt. Concerts were cancelled, I started working from home and was laid of from my job I really liked at a local record store. To top it off, an auto-immune flare up has me currently immobile, as I sit here writing this with my swollen knees elevated on ice.
In many ways, I can’t wait for things to be back to normal again. But, in some ways, I’m relishing in this much needed time at home to rest and re-evaluate. I’m starting my internal self-care practice again, starting today with a gestalt session between myself and the inflammation that’s flaring up in my body. Asking why I’m attacking myself and seeing the parallels in the ways I attack myself both internally and externally has been a crucial first step in this self-love journey.
I live alone and actually really love my apartment and location. I have a cat who is equal parts sweet and socially distant herself. I’m not in the position where I have to worry about money just yet, but I know I’m headed for a change in career. Building something for myself has always been the ultimate goal, and I thought I’d be much farther along in my 30s.
When I started developing these products for Stardust & Co.ven, the inspiration seemed to come out of nowhere, but I was doing it. Everything you see here I’ve done 100% myself, from making the products to the design and website. I love having this vision and seeing it come to fruition, but have felt stuck in the financial aspect. How do I know how much to invest in this? And how do I balance this with the many interests I already have including music, DJing and hosting gatherings?
During this time of being home-bound, I’ve realized I have two fears: that everything will be the same when this is all over, and that everything won’t be the same just as well. And while it’s impossible to determine what “normal” will be once this is all over, it’s a good time to come to terms with what I want my new normal to look like. Most of my goals are on the “goal line” of life, but also should serve to feed my soul equally. Some of the things I want to accomplish look like this:
Being kinder to myself. In my eyes, my kitty can do no wrong. She’s always my sweet pea, even when she’s irritated and bites and scratches. Even though she has a low hanging pooch in her belly. I strive to see myself like I do her, and stop being so critical of whatever mistakes I seem to be making.
Prioritizing self-care on the inside too. Sure, I take plenty of baths, light candles, pull tarot cards and do the occasional pampering. But a lot of what I studied for my MA in Spiritual Psychology has taken a backseat. I need to “do the work,” a phrase that’s confounded me as of late, but includes journaling, meditating, and talking to the emotions inside that hurt.
Commit to healing. This includes making healthier choices on the outside, like fueling myself with better food and with exercise too when I’m able. This is the body I’ve been given, and it’s time to stop treating it like a dumpster and taking better care of this landfill that is currently my body.
Visualize the future. It’s a great time to bust out those vision boards and update them with a future I’m excited to step into. Whether its getting crafty and pulling images from magazines or making lists and ideal scenes, getting something on paper can be a good start to seeing the life you’d like to live.
Commit to growth. I can’t tell you how many online courses I’ve signed up for and haven’t completed. Carving out just an hour a day for learning and growth is definitely a goal of mine during this time, whether it’s a Lynda.com course or something more spiritual. This can also tie into making a morning routine that makes me excited to wake up, such as starting with a cup or delicious coffee and journaling, stretching and meditating now that I don’t have to rush out the door in the morning.
Improve my surroundings. I want my home to feel cozy, inspiring and calm during this time. Keeping things tidy and clean, filling the apartment with incense and other scents I enjoy, having plenty of sparkling water and bubble bath on deck are key to keeping my surroundings zen.
Using rituals to improve my mood. Having mood-lifting scents, sprays and more around helps keep me in a better mood when I need it. I use my own calm and uplift essential oil roll on and rose quartz face sprays regularly. Also having music in the background, or even a comforting TV show can help to ease any anxieties that may come forward throughout the day. After all, we’re not just “working from home,” but trying to focus while going through this pandemic, which is scary and major.
It’s hard to say when things will “go back to normal,” but I for one am looking forward to challenging what normal is for me. Most of my days so far have not been all that productive. In fact, there have been days I could not get out of bed. This is where being gentle and compassionate with myself truly comes in to play, because it really is a disservice to beat myself up when I’m going through a rough time.
How are you handling all of this? What are some of your self care and other goals during this time of isolation? If you’re finding yourself spending most of your time alone, like me, how are you coping and keeping yourself connected to loved ones? Are you feeling inspired or just trying to get by? And what are some of the moves you want to make for yourself this year? We’re all in this together. Feel free to share below. Follow my blog with Bloglovin